okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
