remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize