ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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