Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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