I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
