so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
