No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
