3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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