i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I said "one day" and that day is not today
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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