I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
