Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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