Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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