I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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