I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
zippers are such a cool invention
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
