Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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