i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
