The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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