They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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