I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize