I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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