grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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