i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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