i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
