i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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