dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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