That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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