Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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