Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
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I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
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Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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