I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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