my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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