Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
All I want is dick and wine.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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