We should be called the Road Head Warriors
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
