if you like me you must not know who I am
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
