i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
