there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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