is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
