I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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