im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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