He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
