Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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