Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
