So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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