I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
