im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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