when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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