Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
