I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
