Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
