You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
she told me i tasted like america
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
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i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
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Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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