Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
