I hope mine doesn't look like that
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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