My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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