I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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