i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
