btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Randomize
