Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
