I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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