My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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