I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering