DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
