Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
