Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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