it was like his penis was on wheels.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
